123 Magic
From WikEd
Description
1-2-3 Magic is a Discipline Management Program for children 2-12 years old written by Thomas W. Phelan Ph.D. It can be used by parents and teachers. The program includes a book, video and audio.
About the Author
http://www.parentmagic.com/uploads/TWPspeaking2.gif
Thomas W. Phelan Ph.D. is a registered clinical psychologist. He is a renowned expert on child discipline, parenting, and Attention Deficit Disorder. He is a member of the American Psychological Association and the Illinois Psychological Association. He has been in private practice since 1972. He also founded the Illinois Association for Hyperactivity and ADD.
To Learn More About the Author
http://www.aeispeakers.com/speakerbio.php?SpeakerID=796
Application at Home
The book begins by explaining that there are two types of behavior that parents are either trying to "Stop" or Start"
According to Canadian parents online... "1-2-3 Magic" involves counting your child for bad behavior. For example, your child talks back to you...you say "That's 1". They do it again, you say "That's 2", and again you say "That's 3, Take 5" (or 1 minute per age of the child). Hitting is an automatic time-out. The book suggested to give the time-out in the child's bedroom but this did not work for us. Our son would actually wreck his room!! So we modified it to better suit our family. We give these time-outs on a kitchen chair where we can keep an eye on them. The book also suggested that it is important to say nothing else when you are counting your child. I know I've done this before...you go on and on about something and your child just tunes you out. I do think its important to explain to your child after the time-out why he or she had one. This discipline method should be used for 'stop behavior' not 'start behavior'. For example, a 'start behavior' is if you want your child to start cleaning his/her room. A 'stop behavior' is sassing, hitting, whining, etc.
Stop behavior is explained as behavior parents would like their children to discontinue. This may include: arguing, fighting, screaming, tantrums and teasing. When parents are working to "Stop" certain behaviors they will use the 1-2-3 counting process.
Start behavior is explained as behavior parents would like their children to begin doing. This may include: doing homework and cleaning their room. When parents are working to "Start" certain behaviors they can use a choice of six tactics.
The Six Tactics include:
Sloppy PVF-Positive Verbal Response
It is termed “Sloppy‿ because you don’t reinforce everything all the time. It should be tailored to each child. Example: “You started your homework all by yourself‿
Kitchen Timers
Example: If a parent wants their child to pick up their toys, the timer is set and the child must pick up objects before timer rings.
The Docking System
In this method the parents "dock" the child"s allowance for not completing an agreed upon chore. Example: Feeding the dog.
Natural Consequences
In this method parents allow the child to experience a consequence based on decisions they make. Example: If a child refuses to wear a coat when it is cold, the child will be cold and the parent does not go get them their coat.
Charting
In this method parents keep daily track of a desired behavior, whether the child completed it or not.
A variation of the 1-2-3
In this method parents count using the 1-2-3- Magic counting process if child is not "starting" a behavior.
Before Getting Started
Dr. Phelan explains the “Little Adult Assumption‿. This is the belief that kids have hearts of gold and are basically reasonable and unselfish Phelan states that this is a myth and if you believe it, you will rely too heavily on words and reasons.
He also states that parents should be in control on the decisions that are made at home. At first it should begin as a dictatorship with the adult as judge and jury. As the children get older it can be a democracy in which kids have more to say about the rules and policies that affect them.
Dr. Phelan suggests that parents avoid falling in the following traps:
"Too Much Talking" which can lead to Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit Syndrome
"Too Much Emotion" which can lead to kids knowing what bugs you.
Implementation
Dr. Phelan suggests that parents begin implementing the program by having a "Kick-Off Conversation". In this conversation the parents explain the program to their children. They explain the 1-2-3 Magic process.
Using 1-2-3 Magic
Follow the No-Talking and No-Emotion Rule
If a child is having a tantrum the parents says, "That’s 1" as the tantrum begins.
If the tantrum continues the parent says, "That’s 2".
If the tantrum does not stop the parent says, "That's 3, take 5".
The child serves a "time out" or "rest period". The length of the "time out" depends on the age of the child, 1 minute for each year of the child. If the child is 5 years old they would get a 5 minute "time out".
Testing
Dr. Phelan suggests that children test when they are frustrated and that it is a purposeful behavior. Testing serves two purposes: for the child to get what he/she wants and for revenge if child did not get what he/she wanted.
Six Forms
Badgering- Child begs to get what they want. "Please, please, please".
Intimidation- Child throws a temper tantrum to get what they want.
Threat- If a child did not get what they wanted they state, "I’ll never speak to you again".
Martyrdom-If a child did not get what they wanted they state,"No one around here loves me anymore".
Butter Up-Child tries to influence parent decision by being helpful,"I think I’ll go clean my room".
Physical Tactics- Child may try to hit parent.
1-2-3 Magic also includes strategies for situations that require more than a consequence of a "time out." Dr. Phelan suggests that these be discussed ahead of time with the child.
For example, some major offenses may be stealing or fighting. The major consequence would be a 7 day grounding. A medium offense may be coming home 3 hours late and the medium consequence would be a 3 day grounding in room. A minor offense may be coming home less than an hour late and the minor consequence would be a 1 hour grounding in room.
Family Meeting
1-2-3 Magic also includes a component of a Family Meeting. It is suggested to be tried when kids are in elementary school.It may occur once or twice a week.
Format
One parent is chairperson (guide), may occasionally give kids a chance at the job.The chairperson's role is to make sure the agenda is followed, everyone gets a turn, and there are no interruptions. Anyone can bring a problem to the meeting.
Running the Meeting
One person describes the problem they want resolved. Every other person gives their thoughts and feelings about problem. Proposals for solutions are taken. A solution is agreed upon to be tried out. If there are disagreements, parents have final say. Agreed upon solution is written and posted.
Application in the Classroom
Dr. Phelan states 1-2-3 Magic can be applied from daycare to junior high. The teacher would begin by having a Kick-Off conversation similar to the one parents would have with their children. The teacher would then make a list of "countable" offenses which may be done during a class discussion. The teacher then needs to decide on consequences.
For example, younger children may have a time-out and older children may miss 5 minutes of recess. If a teacher wants to see a behavior started in a student, praise can be used as an effective method. For example, if one student needs to get started on a task, the teacher complements the students who are doing the desired behavior. Often this is all that is needed to get a student on task.
Keeping Track
Name on blackboard which is not too popular.
Stoplight- It is similar to a traffic stoplight. Each student has clothespins of three colors with their name. The count of 1 would require a student's name to be put on the green light and so on.
A teacher may also use a small note pad. This method would be most private.
Implementing 1-2-3 Magic in the Preschool setting
The teacher would start by explaining the program to all students at the beginning of year. The teacher can have the Kick-Off conversation with the entire class or with individual students. The author states that it is important to include parents in process and to encourage parents to use it at home.
Evidence of effectiveness
Book Review of 1-2-3 Magic
http://www.danarayburn.com/phelanreview.html
The following is a link to a testimonial from a parent who has used 1-2-3 Magic
http://raisingboys.allinfoabout.com/features/501_123magic.html
Book Review by Jan Wilson
http://www.cyberparent.com/boys/book-123-magic.htm
CSU Article: "123 Magic Really Works" http://www.coopext.colostate.edu/PIP/parentingmatters/pmjan99.pdf
Critics and their rationale
The following is a link to a parent chat group in which they discussed the effectiveness of 1-2-3 Magic. (2000)
Alternative explanations due to Diversity considerations
Signed "life experiences", testimonies and stories
One of my colleagues swears by this program. As a 5th grade teacher, she still finds it effective and says that the best thing about it is that it approaches an often difficult topic with enthusiasm and humor.- E.W.
I have never used the program but I have many friends who do and I have see it in action. My real "beef" with this program is that it considers itself the "be all end all" to discipline. The only real answer to discipline is consistency. Does 1-2-3 Magic work, yes it does, but only if you stick with it. Do time outs work? Yes, as long as you stick with them. Consistency is the only true form a discipline which will work on children. K. Darche
I wonder if kids who encounter the 1-2-3 Magic model really learn to behave well or just learn how to stay efficiently away from adults. I think in 1-2-3 Magic adults are not approachable for children. How will the ever learn how to deal with emotions when you never talk about your emotions? I have not much experience with young children but I know they want to interact and talk to adults in many different ways. How can they communicate with an adult who just counts 1-2-3 Magic? F. Autenrieth
I have actually seen time-outs in action with children of friends of mine. I think consistency may be very important for time-outs to be effective, but there is also the issue of how the time-outs are being implemented. Having a child go to time-out in their room or a room with a television in it is, as far as I can tell, useless. Time-outs are supposed to be used in a way that takes the child away from something they want to be doing. If this is done incorrectly as above, this is useless, however, if children in time-out are placed in an isolated situation they may wind up feeling ostracized and singled out, especially in classroom situations. When I think about it I fail to see any real bonuses to this technique. Timothy Zorn
I have never personally used this method but I have seen it in action. It seems to be pretty effective as long as the parent or teacher uses it correctly. Some parents are not consistent which then confuses the child or teaches the child how he/she can manipulate the system. Kerry F.
I was amazed to read this; this was the system that my parents used on me and my siblings, but I did not know that it had a name. I quickly learned that if I heard "One," I could still continue to misbehave, even if I heard, "two," there was a short delay until that time-out after, "three." I could see this working on most children, but the "time out" needs to be an effective punishment. It has its faults with manipulative children or parents that do not follow through. - J. Jakob
I have read the book and have tried to use the methods with my own daughter. She is a very headstrong 7 year old and she comes by it naturally. I have realized that it doesn't matter if you use 123 Magic or another type of discipline the key is consistency. B. McArthur
1-2-3 Magic was a great help when our children were very little. My husband and I knew we neeed to be consistent with the kids, but we couldn't seem to get our act together with regard to how to discipline them effectively; we both had our own ideas. 1-2-3 Magic gave us both the same tools to use with all 3 kids. Even as teenagers, when we're really getting annoyed we still say, "That's one, that's two, ..." and the behavior ends. Carolyn St
I have not read 1-2-3 Magic, nor have I seen it in practice in the exact manner in which it is explained. I have been a teacher for 6 years and it sounds like 1-2-3 Magic is a discipline plan that has the most important attribute of all effective discipline plans: consistency. I think the 2nd most important aspect of the program is how it explains different behaviors children exhibit to avoid accountability for their actions. I like the fact that parents and teachers should not become involved in an emotional struggle with children. The behavior is not about the parent or teacher, therefore they should not be emotionally invested in it. They should be able to point out that the consequence is linked to the behavior that the child chose. That does not mean that parents and teachers do not show their emotions. It means that they do not become involved in an emotional struggle. At the point when a child is upset, emotions from the parent/teacher give the students a way to escalate the problem and avoid accountability. A discussion of how the behavior makes the adult feel can be had after the situation has been deescalated. -- Amanda P.
I had forgotten all about this until I read your article! I was introduced to this when my children were young, and used it for quite a while. One of the ideas you touched on is with getting behaviors started, like cleaning a room. If I remember correctly, one of the things it suggested is that, especially with older children, if you've asked them to do it and they don't, you still count to let them know they haven't done the behavior. If you get to 3, instead of a time out, you do the work, but you charge the child for you labor and dock their allowance. This was effective when my children were smaller, but now they'd rather not have to do it and not get the money! Although we don't still use the method, (my children are 11, 13, and 16) it's interesting that when one of them is really acting up, if I start counting, the misbehavior does generally stop before I get to three.-Susan
I often use 1-2-3 magic with my own children and had success with controlling behavior. In the classroom, I find that the results are similar. The key is to remain consistent with rules and consequences. My kids would know that I would follow through with consequences so they would usually respond to my requests by the time I get to the number two. As with any behavior plan it is important to give positive praise when there is an appropriate response to direction. S. Nottoli
References and other links of interest
Speakers Bureau. (2004). Dr. Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D. Retrieved April 19. 2005. from http://www.aeispeakers.com/speakerbio.php?SpeakerID=796
Phelan,Thomas W. (1995). 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for Children 2-12. 2nd Edition. Glen Ellyn, IL: Child Management Inc.
http://www.canadianparents.ca/CPO/SchoolAged/Schoolaged/2004/08/09/592370.html
http://www.familyeducation.com/whatworks/item/front/1,2551,1-9126-9613,00.html
If you would like to order you can visit this website http://www.marcoproducts.com/123magicvideo.html
http://www.cyberparent.com/spoiled/questions123magic.htm
or go to amazon.com
