Parenting styles

From WikEd

Baumrind's Parenting Styles

In Diane Baumrind's research on with middle class parents, she found that these parents tend to employ one of three distinct parenting styles.

Authoritarian parents are relatively strict, punitive, and unsympathetic. They value obedience and try to shape their children's behavior to meet a set standard and to cub the children's wills. Independence is not encouraged. The parents are detached and seldom praise or reward their children (Berstein et al, 2000). They have high demands but not responsive.

In contrast to authoritarian parents, permissive parents give their children complete freedom and lacks discipline. This type of style is also known as indulgent. Permissive parents are more responsive than demanding. The parents avoid confrontation and are very lenient.

The third parenting style Baumrind describes is called authoritatitve. Authoritative parents fall between permissive and authoritarian. With this parenting style, parents reason with their children, encouraging a "give and take" relationship. They allow the children increasing responsibility as they get older and better at making decisions. They are firm but understanding and set limits but also encourage independence. The parental demands are usually reasonable, rational, and consistent (Berstein et al, 2000). The parents are both demanding and responsive.

Although Baumrind researched these parenting styles, it seemed that there was one missing, therefore, Maccoby and Martin came up with a fourth parenting style called uninvolved or neglectful. Parents implementing this style are not responsive or demanding. They could care less where their children are or what they are doing.

Application in Classroom Settings

But what about the influence outside the home? interaction with peers, teachers, etc? These factors must have and influence on a child's thinking and behavior, especially with teacher. Many teachers, I assume, use the authoritative style within their teaching methods. Demandings and Responsiveness are both important in the school environment. The child must meet the expectations of the teacher and the teacher must respond to the student in order to give the child a fruitful education (just my personal opinion).

To accomodate the different personalities in the classroom, different teaching styles need to be implemented. The parenting style in the home environment have different consequences on the students behavior and the interactions at school.

Evidence of effectiveness

This is one website that briefly describes the effectiveness of the different parenting. Refer to Consequences for Children.

Critics and their rationale

Berstein et al. notes that there are limitations about the parenting styles. First, they note that the parenting styles involve correlations, which do not prove causation. Finding consistent correlations between parents' and children's behavior does not establish that parents are creating the differences seen in thier children. In fact, parents may be influenced by children's behavior. Parents may react differently to children of different ages, temperament, size, and appearance.

A second limitation mentioned is how children perceive the discipline they receive- as stricter or more lenient than what an older sibling received.

A third limitation of these studies is that the correlations between parenting styles and children's behavior, though statistically significant, are ususally not strong. Expected relationships between parenting styles and children's behavior do not always appear. For example, Baumrind (1971) found a small group of "harmonious" families in which she never observed the parents disciplining the children, yer the children were thriving (Berstein et. al, 2000).

Alternative explanations due to Diversity considerations

Refer to Influence of Gender, Ethnicity, or Family Type

Signed ??life experiences??, testimonies and stories

It is true that there are specific parenting styles that are often easily identifiable. Many times I have seen and heard parents interact with their children more as friends. This includes being afraid to set limits and saying no. Within the school environment, if a child is disrespectful to the teacher and others this can be a reflection of life at home. I remember a parent coming to talk with their child's teacher and treating the teacher the same way as the student does. Often it appears that the parent who takes control in regards to the child is the thing of the past. C. Unzicker

I've noticed that some students (that I assume are disciplined with the authoritative style at home) act just as their parents do and get in trouble for the same behavior. For example, one day a girl in my class slapped a boy in the head because he yelled at her when urging her to come in the classroom. When I pulled her aside I explained that in the "real" world hitting someone would be considered assault and could put her in jail. I told her that hitting someone is never appropriate, and that goes for friends, boyfriends and girlfriends, wives and husbands, and with children. She replied, "Well that's not true for my house." This makes me thinking that parenting styles do have an impact on student behaviors in school. What is appropriate and accepted at home may not be at school. I've also had a student swear openly to a TA in my class. When I told the student that it's not acceptable to swear at adults or in school, the student said that his mother doesn't care if he swears at home at his siblings. J. Adams

Unfortunately, I have found that parents have become more enablers than parents over the past few years. When calling parents about issues in the classroom, they tend now to either defend the student, or make excuses for them. It's disheartening in a way, as now administrators are putting their hands up and siding with the parent, rather than effectively managing the situation. S.Luxbacher

When spouses become parents, they have to take into account that both were raised in different atmospheres and more than likely different parenting styles. These individual parenting styles then need to mesh to form a parenting style that will be used in the rearing of their own children. This topic should probably be discussed prior to the onset of children. Much friction can come out of a situation when both parents have different manners in which to handle a situation. It is important to always consider the child's best interest in such situations. M. Youngblood

During a 4th grade parent-teacher conference, a mother was extremely upset because her daughter was out of control and disrespectful at home. She assumed that this behavior was also continuing at school. My classroom experience with this child was very positive. She never gave me trouble or attitude. When I dug deeper I discovered that at home the student had all of the control. There were few if any rules or limitations. The student would become angry and violent with her parents if she did not get her way. I told the parents that I felt this student was crying out for rules and structure which she experienced in the classroom. S. Nottoli

I think it is sad when I see a child put in the middle of parents who cannot agree on a parenting style. They go back and forth and then students come to school and don't know how to respond to that enviroment as well. Really, what I feel ends up happening in many cases is that the students start manipulating and using parents against one another or parents against the school, etc.--KK

I believe that parental styles have a lot of impacts on children' well being. As being the only child of my parents, I alway receive a lot of attention from them. That experience has buttressed my confident and affected my life in many positive aspects. WV.

Teachers are often puzzled by students' behavior until parent conferences. Once we meet the parents, it all makes sense. So many children are just imitating their parents' behavior, the good and the bad. In my experience, students who become bullies are often bullied by their parents. Students who are unresponsive to consequences and discipline have little experience with discipline at home. Students who are responsible and compassionate have responsible and compassionate parents. If we want to change our children's behavior, we must first change our own. T. Stilts

It is my experience that in today’s society parents want to be more of a friend to their children than a parent. With both parents working in most households either feel guilty about not spending time with their children or just don’t want to deal with them, so the discipline is at a minimum. As an active duty Marine my friends are deployed anywhere from seven months to eighteen months. These deployments put a strain on marriages and parenting. I see them struggle on a daily basis with control, because they do not to come home and be the bad guy. No matter how hard it is children want and need good parents, not more friends. -David Troyer

I have found it sad that in today's culture there is a television show like "SuperNanny". At first, I thought it was a joke, until I recognized the behaviors of some of my students' parents. I'm afraid that in today's society, parents are either worn out by the end of a work day or feel guilty that they don't have enough time to spend with their children. These two reasons can often lead to parents spoiling their children and allowing disrespect. It seems that it's easier to ignore the bad behavior and lavish children with money, video games and anything else they want. This alleviates the parent's guilt and the child gets what they want. Unfortunately, this is not how the world works and I feel that children are in for a big surprise as adults. Are we doing the next generation a disservice? D.LePla

I am glad that my parents were authoritative. While I am very close to them, I always knew that they were my parents, and that they were there to help and guide me. I admit that I sometimes wanted to rebel, especially in high school, but overall, I feel that my parents had a very positive impact on the person I am today. My parents were strict, yet understanding, and always willing to discuss things with me. I can only hope that I can be the same to my own future children. ~A. Peso