Nelsen, Jane
From WikEd
See Nelsen, Jane
[edit] Biographical Information
Dr. Jane Nelsen is a licensed Marriage, Family and Child Counselor in South Jordan, UT and San Clemente, CA. In 1979, she received a doctorate in Educational Psychology from the University of San Francisco. She is also the mother of seven children. She now works as a keynote speaker, author, and workshop leader all over the United States. Her work is very well-known and she has achieved continued success and popularity as an expert in her field.
She is a known contributor to the Adler/Dreikurs, Rudolf school of student and classroom theory commonly known as positive discipline and is very well received by school district, teacher organizations, conferences, and parent education networks throughout the world. She served as the project director of federally funded study, “Adlerian Elementary Counseling as a Problem Solving Model,�? (1975-1978)among other endevors and has written numerous books. Letters come in daily from parents and teachers worldwide who have had much success with the principles outlined in her books, workshops, and lectures. She has made television appearances on Oprah, Sally Jessy Raphael, and Twin Cities Live, and was the featured parent expert on the National Parent Quiz with Ben Vereen.
This information was taken from www.janenelsen.com
[edit] Her Work
Dr. Nelsen is the author and/or coauthor of the following books:
Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World
Understanding Serenity: What Thoughts are you Giving up Your Happiness For?
Positive Time Out and Fifty Other Ways to Avoid Power Struggles
Positive Discipline for Teenagers
Positive Discipline in the Classroom
Positive Discipline A-Z
Positive Discipline for Single Parents
Positive Discipline for Preschoolers
Positive Discipline The First Three Years
Positive Discipline for Your Step Family
Parents Who Love Too Much
Positive Discipline for Parenting in Recovery
Positive Discipline: A Teacher's A-Z Guide
Positive Discipline for Christian Families
Positive Discipline for Child Care Providers
Positive Discipline for Working Parents
Positive Discipline in the Classroom
Building a Positive Workplace: Empowering People for Increased Productivity
Jane is the co-developer of the following two-day training workshops:
Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way
a general process that also can focus on the following populations:
- Preschoolers
- Teenagers
- Single Parents
- Criminal Justice
- Parenting in Recovery
Email Jane Nelsen at jane@positivediscipline.com with comments or questions
[edit] Positive Discipline
Dr. Nelsen is the author of Positive Discipline in the Classroom: Developing Mutual Respect,Cooperation, and Responsibility in Your Classroom. In this book, Nelsen and colleagues illustrate the fundamentals necessary to develop a Positive Discipline Classroom. Using this model, teachers learn to develop a nurturing classroom climate focused on mutual respect.
The Guidelines from this book include:
-Misbehaving children are "discouraged children" who have mistaken ideas on how to achieve their primary goal – to belong. Their mistaken ideas lead them to misbehavior. We cannot be effective unless we address the mistaken beliefs rather than just the misbehavior.
-Use encouragement to help children fell "belonging" so the motivation for misbehaving will be eliminated. Celebrate each step in the direction of improvement rather than focusing on mistakes.
-A great way to help children feel encouraged is to spend special time "being with them". Many teachers have noticed a dramatic change in a “problem child�? after spending five minutes simply sharing what they both like and do for fun.
-When tucking children into bed, ask them to share with you their "saddest time" during the day and their "happiest time" during the day. Then you share with them. You will be surprised what you learn.
-Have family meetings or class meetings to solve problems with cooperation and mutual respect. This is the key to creating a loving, respectful atmosphere while helping children develop self-discipline, responsibility, cooperation, and problem-solving skills.
-Give children meaningful jobs. In the name of expediency, many parents and teachers do things that children could do for themselves and one another. Children feel belonging when they know they can make a real contribution.
-Decide together what jobs nee to be done. Put them all in a jar and let each child draw out a few each week; that way no one is stuck with the same jobs all the time. Teachers can invite children to help them make class rules and list them on a chart titled, “We decided:�?. Children have ownership, motivation, and enthusiasm when they are included in the decisions.
-Take time for training. Make sure that children understand what "clean the kitchen" means to you. To them it may mean simply putting the dishes in the sink. Parents and teachers may ask, "What is your understanding of what is expected?"
-Teach and model mutual respect. One way is to be kid and firm at the same time – kind to show respect for the child, and firm to show respect for yourself and "the needs of the situation." This is difficult during conflict, so use the next guideline whenever you can.
-Proper timing will improve your effectiveness tenfold. It does not "work" to deal with a problem at the time of conflict – emotions get in the way. Teach children about cooling-off periods. You (or the children) can go to a separate room and do something to make yourself feel better – and then work on the problem with mutual respect.
-Get rid of the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first you have to make them feel worse. Do you feel like doing better when you feel humiliated? This suggests a whole new look at "time out".
-Use Positive Time Out. Let you children help you design a pleasant area (cushions, books, music, stuffed animals) that will help the feel better. Remember that children do better when they feel better. Then you can ask your children, when they are upset, "Do you think it would help you to take some positive time out?"
-Punishment may "work" if all you are interested in is stopping misbehavior for "the moment." Sometimes we must beware of what works when the long-range results are negative – resentment, rebellion, revenge, or retreat.
-Teach children that mistakes are wonderful opportunities to learn! A great way to teach children that mistakes are wonderful opportunities to learn is to model that yourself by using the Three Rs of Recovery after you have made a mistake: (1) Recognize your mistake. (2) Reconcile: Be willing to say "I’m sorry, I didn’t like the way I handled that." (3) Resolve: Focus on solutions rather than blame. (#3 is effective only if you do #1 and #2 first.)
-Focus on solutions instead of consequences. Many parents and teachers try to disguise punishment by calling it a logical consequence. Get children involved in finding solutions that are (1) related, (2) respectful, and (3) reasonable.
-Make sure the message of love and respect gets through. Start with "I care about you. I am concerned about this situation. Will you work with me on a solution?" Have fun! Bring joy into homes and classrooms.
[edit] SEVEN PARTS OF THE POSITIVE DISCIPLINE PUZZLE
The authors focus on teaching the seven parts of the Positive Disciplinepuzzle. All pieces of the puzzle are necessary to create an effective Positive Discipline in the Classroom program.
1. Creating an atmosphere of caring based on kindness and firmness, dignity and mutual respect. 2. Using Positive Discipline classroom management tools 3. Holding regularly scheduled classroom meetings. 4. Holding parent/teacher/student conferences 5. Understanding the Four Mistaken Goals of Behavior 6. Using the Teachers Helping Teachers Problem-Solving Steps 7. Using encouragement
[edit] THE SIGNIFICANT SEVEN
Positive Discipline authors discuss the Significant Seven (Three Empowering Perceptions and Four Essential Skills) as the major benefits of following this program.
Three Perceptions
1. "I am capable." 2. "I contribute in meaningful ways, and I am genuinely needed." 3. " I use my power to make choices that influence what happens to me and my community."
Four Skills
1. Interpersonal skills 2. Intrapersonal skills 3. Systemic skills 4. Judgment skills
[edit] CLASS MEETINGS
Class meetings are necessary when using this program. It is recommended that teachers take the time to introduce the eight building blocks for effective class meetings. See Class Meeting.
1. Form a circle. 2. Practice compliments and appreciations 3. Create an agenda 4. Develop communication skills 5. Learn about separate realities 6. Recognize the four reasons people do what they do. 7. Practice role-playing and brainstorming 8. Focus on nonpunitive solutions.
[edit] FOUR MISTAKEN GOALS
Charles Wolfgans describes Jane Nelson as a Dreikurs-Adlerian writer, who added the concept of a class meeting to the Social Discipline Model. There are many influences from Rudolf Dreikurs and Alfred Adler within this program. See Dreikurs, Rudolf. Specificaly, this program emphasis Dreikurs' mistaken goals as piece to the Positive Discipline puzzle.
1. Undue Attention 2. Misguided Power 3. Revenge 4. Assumed Inadequacy
[edit] Application in classrooms and similar settings
Nelsen’s work promotes the shift from a reactive guidance position to a proactive and more democratic position based on the work of Rudolf Dreikurs. A significant addition made by Nelsen is the routine use of Class Meeting for which she provides clear guidance. Another important element is developing common awareness among parents and teachers (the students’ significant adults) through meetings and study groups.
Many parent groups, the Montessori system, social service entities and correctional facilities have implemented Nelsen’s techniques in full or in part.
Current widespread popularity provides some indication of the effectiveness of either the program or the marketing of the program. In some situations the centrist clarity of Nelsen’s advice provides a welcome alternative to punitive traditions which can be viewed as failures. In other cultures (Singapore and Japan) her methods are requested as a humanistic relief to punitive traditions that are seen as successful albeit exclusive.
[edit] Critics and their rationale
Critics from a progressive viewpoint (e.g. Alfie Kohn) have not registered direct criticism known to date. The democratic and constructivist aspects of Nelsen’s approach, when implemented with a progressive intent, may serve to support the goals of school reform, but if the intent is limited at managing behavior, stopping short of promoting learning, then the criticism might be unleashed.
Proponents of Nelsen’s approach find success in mixed cultural, socio-economic, and developmental situations.
[edit] Evidence of effectiveness
The following quotes were taken from www.janenelsen.com
We could not have asked to receive any more valuable information than that which you gave us! Your information was straightforward and detailed as to dealing with all ages of children and family relationships. If I had to choose a description of your presentation which made it most meaningful, ‘a common-sense approach to parenting’ would be my description.�?
—Leslie Hayes, Co-Chair, Alcohol and Drug Conference, Junior League of Hunstsville, Inc.
“Everyone felt you presented ideas and approaches useful at home and in the classroom, enhancing discipline, communication, and most of all promoting the self-esteem and dignity of our children. Your enthusiastic, insightful (keynote) presentation set the tone for the whole day, presenting outstanding models of intervention and prevention for children ‘at risk’.�?
—Bruce Ettinger, Executive Director, The Children’s Institute
“We felt your workshop on Positive Discipline/Empowering Teens and Yourself in the Process was of great value. We continuously refer to your presentation. Parents tell me they are putting into practice the things they learned from you, and it is working! I’ve run community education programs for over eight years and I must say this is the first one that actually gives people the skills and techniques to make changes. Your straightforward and common-sense approach is enlightening in dealing with children of all ages and family relationships.�?
—Karen Pierce,HCA Portsmouth Pavilion
“I just wanted to let you know that I continue to hear nothing but positive feedback about the seminar you presented before our 450 workshop participants. Your content, style, and sense of humor made the presentation a memorable and inspiring one for everyone involved—parents, teachers, and counseling professionals Thanks for bringing your important message to our community. I know you’ve made a lasting impact on the way I interact with my own family, and I’m sure that other parents who attended would say the same.�?
—Cindi Anthony, St. Alcuin Montessori School, Dallas, TX
Dear Jane,
The Sierra College Foster and Kinship Care Education staff, the conference committee and all who attended our Foster and Kinship Success Day event wish to express our sincere appreciation for your keynote presentation and your workshops on "Positive Discipline for Developing Capable People."
The evaluations of your presentations were overwhelmingly positive and according to many, were the highlights of the day for them. They expressed an interest in having you return for future trainings, as well. Several felt they would like to have had more time to ask questions and benefit from your extensive knowledge and experience in parenting. We do hope you will consider being involved in our training sessions in the future so that you can continue to reach a broad audience of our foster parents.
Thank you for spending the day with us at Sierra College. We appreciate the role you played in honoring and showing support for our foster and kinship care providers and the valuable work all of you are doing.
It was my pleasure to meet you and to affirm the positive reactions expressed by those who have been involved in your presentations before. Please accept my apology for not thanking you in person at the end of the session.
Sincerely,
Roselene Kelley Sierra College Director Foster and Kinship Care Education Program
[edit] References and Other Sources of Interest
parent-information/positive-discipline.html Guidelines
Official Source of Positive Discipline Material
