Anger management
From WikEd
Anger Management:
[edit] Descriptions, definitions, synonyms, organizer terms, types of
Anger is a normal, healthy emotion, but sometimes it can get out of control and become destructive, feeling like it is taking over your life. "The goal of anger mangement is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the psychological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions" (APA Online).
It is not unusual for anxiety and anger to be connected. Anger may trigger anxiety. Anxiety may anger us. If we don't face our anger and learn to manage it, it may surface in unpredictable ways.
[edit] Application in classrooms and similar settings
The natural way to act when feeling angry is to respond with anger. However, this is not always possible or practical in today's world. There are a variety of processes that people use to deal with anger. These include: expressing anger in an assertive, not aggressive manner. This is the best way to control anger. Two other processes people can use are suppressing and calming. Surpresssing can work, but when used too much can have negative effects such as high blood pressure or depression. Calming involves the old "count to ten" approach, and can be very effective.
There are also a series of techniques that are taught to people who have a difficult time controlling their tempers and sometimes act out in aggressive ways when confronted. Techniques for managing anger are available for all ages. Many children's books [1] have been written about techniques that very young children can use to handle angry feelings. One common technique for adults is called "positive self-talk". This occurs when a person recognizes that they are getting annoyed or angry with someone and uses positive self-controlling, and calming self-talk to manage their feelings of anger and frustration. Sometimes, this is used in combination with "breathing techniques" that are designed to calm and regulate the anger responses. The old adage of "counting to ten" is very apropos in handling anger. Another technique involves the use of "I" statements to express one's angry feelings. These statements convey the same intent and are designed in the same way as I-messages.
Anger management classes are even being taught in schools. While the short term affects are good, long term affects are so-so. Students learn how to put themselves in others shoes and understand how anger affects others. After that they are taught how to get in touch with the feelings they have, physicall and emotionally, as they get angry and then they are taught alternative ways of handling the anger rather than lashing out. The anger management courses are step by step programs that leave a large part of the learning for the students. they must be aware of themselves, how they feel and take responsibility for finding alternative actions. To enhance the opportunity for success, some researchers also indicate that the students should take courses in aggression replacement training.
Four Stages in Anger Management Where Intervention is Most likely to Succeed:
1. Pre-Anger - the period before a conflict occurs. Read environmental cues, many times one can head off "trouble" before it gets going.
2. Heating Up - this occurs when we start to get emotionally involved, referred to as "hooked".
3. Before Boiling Over - refers to the few seconds before you lose your temper.
4. After Boiling Over - the time after you are completely "cooled off". Use this time to evaluate your behavior and learn from any mistakes you may have made in handling your anger.
The University of Michigan Health System (UMHS) says that teaching children strategies for dealing with their anger is particularly difficult because it can be hard to know when your child will get angry again. As much as possible, use the time between angry outbursts to discuss and practice how to deal with anger. The UMHS outlines the following components of teaching your child anger management:
-Practice a substitute behavior. You and your child should practice a substitute behavior to use when he or she is about to get angry. Some ideas include counting, counting backward or visualizing a peaceful scene or a stop sign.
-Reward. Sit down with your child and figure out some rewards that he or she can earn by practicing the exercises (on a daily basis) and when he or she uses the exercises when frustrated or angry. Don't skip the rewards - they are essential to the success of anger management in children.
-Give examples. Try to think of times when you deal effectively with your own stress and point these out, very briefly, to your child. Also, share your coping strategy with your child to give an example of how he or she could deal with a similar situation. It is also important that your child see you successfully deal with your own anger.
-Encourage using the exercises. When your child starts to get upset, briefly encourage him or her to practice the substitute behavior. Only prompt your child once. Do not continue to bother him or her about using the exercises.
-Avoid arguments and discipline consistently. Avoid arguing with your child. Everybody loses when a confrontation occurs. You need to set a good example and deal with your child in a quiet, matter-of-fact manner. (Seith)
[edit] Tips to manage anger
By analyzing these steps it can help professionals manage stress and realize that responding with anger can be controlled and is not always the most effective choice
Anger Management: A Ten-Step Program
1. Accept that most things in the world are out of your control.
2. Accept that it is your choice to get angry about those things.
3. No one makes you angry.
4. Life is unfair. Waste no energy lamenting or trying to change that fact.
5. No one likes to be around an angry person. No one feels like helping an angry person.
6. So why be angry? Maybe you really don't want your problems solved. Maybe you just want to complain and wail and gnash your teeth.
7. Take stock of yourself. What do you want?
8. You should smile more. Your face won't break.
9. Anger is a weed; hate is the tree. -St. Augustine
10. Anger makes a rich man hated and a poor man scorned. -Thomas Fuller
Compiled by David A. Willson
[edit] Critics and their rationale
[edit] Alternative explanations due to Diversity considerations
I teach international undergraduate students and one day during class we discussed anger management. We read an article about how there are different types of anger management programs in America, even for very young children. My students, from Korea and Taiwan, were surprised at this because they had not had this in their schools about fifteen years ago when they were in grade school. – M. Daniel
[edit] Signed "life experiences", testimonies and stories
Last year I had a few kindergarten students that would get very very angry when provoked even a little bit. These five year olds had extreme emotional reactions that went way beyond the norm. We set up a little anger management group with the guidance counselor to work on their anger, and children's books and role playing were the primary methods used to direct the group. The small program was really successful. The students would refer to the books they used in the sessions and talked about how they related to the characters. It was evident that the students were able to use what they learned, and we really saw a change in them over the school year. -Rebecca Hix Foley
In mentally and emotionally preparing myself to teach elementary school, specifically in the primary grades, it had never occurred to me that the issue of 'anger management' would be relevant to my teaching and/or my students. I was very wrong. In my first year of teaching second grade, I had a student in my class that was extremely violent and angry. Whenever he was frustrated, tired, or upset he would engage in the destruction of materials and property, hitting and kicking objects, threatening other students, running out of the room, as well as threatening my own safety. In fact, there are a few instances in which his behavior escalated so much and so quickly, that it became a matter of how to remove the student from the classroom/situation in order to keep the rest of my students safe. That year I worked very closely with the school social worker to develop strategies and 'a plan' for how to deal with these behaviors, but at times these strategies would not work and often backfire. It was an extremely frustrating experience, as I had not had what I would consider to be "adequate" training in behavior/anger management as a pre-service teacher. I wonder why many colleges do not include course work based on the idea of classroom and behavior management in their undergraduate programs. Granted, a class can only provide you with so much information and often you must be in the situation to learn how to appropriately deal with it based on the environment and the student; however; would teachers not be more prepared to deal with situations like the ones I experienced as a first-year teacher if they had some initial training on student behaviors, stimuli, and how to response to these behaviors? -D. Jacob (June 2006)
When anger takes over, I think that it is important to have an individualized way of handling it. I often find myself writing in a journal when I get angry. I have heard many people use “I” statements with their spouse, children and family members as a means to conflict management. A conflict management plan is a great idea to have in the classroom, in the work place or at home. In a class I tool titled Teaming, we worked in the same groups everyday to complete assignments and presentations. One of our projects was a team conflict management plan. It was definitely worth a good teaming strategy and one I will use for future teaming activities. -TYM
I definitely witness the experiences that others refer to in their postings. It is frightening that many of my students have no idea that they are behaving inappropriately and do not realize that cuss words come out of their mouths. I found it very difficult to re-direct these behaviors and give these students the attention they require to diminish some of these behaviors. I have attempted to implement some of the suggestions below, but often find there is not enough time to step away from the whole class lesson to have one-on-one intervention time with these students. J. Cappa
It seems like in todays world students are expressing themselves more often in inappropriate ways. Things like swearing are making crude gestures in public are much more common then when I started teaching. It also seems like many students have a much harder time controlling their tempers. I think this may be as a result of what society as a whole is doing. One of the things I try to do with my students and athletes is to tell them to pause or think before they speak this often gives them a chance to cool down before acting. I also spend time emphasing what is considered appropriate behavior and reaction to what someone else does. In our junior high we have classes like quest that help students to deal with some of their anger issues. Craig Johnson
As an advocate for Rape Crisis Services in Champaign, IL, I have had opportunity to interact with a lot of men who have completed court mandated anger management courses following a domestic violence conviction. In my own experience and I believe research also support this idea, the men do not make any long term changes in their behavior. Immediately following the program, they are better behaved, but studies have shown this is due to a fear of being caught as opposed to better anger management techniques. This makes me wonder whether or not anger management instructions truly works for anyone. Dianne Craig
Discouraging Inappropriate Language
Students increasingly are expressing themselves in inappropriate ways. So, what does a teacher do to change students’ use of words? I ask students why they used that word or expression. Usually, their answer is because they were angry or disgusted. My follow-up question is whether this was the angriest or most disgusted they had ever been. Invariably, the answer is no. I then ask what different words they used when they were more angry or disgusted. Often, the words were the same. Next, I discuss with the students the ineffectiveness of language when terms are used too often to describe too many feelings. Then, I work with them to develop a list of appropriate words to use in a variety of situations without reverting to grow words or derogatory terms. - Shared by Denneth Dvergsten, Minnesota educator "Ideas to go…" www.kdp.org
I agree that students are increasingly expressi ng themselves inappropriately. The amount of foul languange that is used on a regular basis by students is most alarming because they do not even realize the words came out of their mouths. On occasion, other students notice it and believe it is directed towards them. Thus an anger issue begins. In my high school, we used to have a program that would allow students to deal with such issues before they got out of hand. Along with budget cuts the program got cut as well. It has been an increasing problem since the school, nor district, has no avenue for students to deal with such issues. The program will not be returning to the high school level unless grant money is made available. C. Watson Springfield Illinois
Yes, I hear students swearing all the time in school and do not even know they are doing it. I teach physical education, health, and a class called quest. During physical education classes at the high school level I will discipline a student for swearing and much of the time they will ask me what they said. They swear so much they do not even notice when they do. I also teach quest to Jr. high students to help them deal with such problems as anger management. I try to teach them to control what they can, but most things are out of their control. I try to teach them different methods to cope with anger instead of saying or doing something stupid that they would later regret. Bret Helms Bureau Valley School District.
I have never had to take an anger management class but I have been to a psychotherapist to help me reduce the anxiety that comes along with my anger issues. One type of cognitive method of relieveing this anger and anxiety is visual imagery. Visual imagery is when a person invisions their "happy place" and imagines that he/she is there. When this happens, usually, the breathing slows down to a calm tempo and anxiety and anger calms as well. It does not work all the time but it works most of the time. So for anyone that needs a home remedy for anger, visual imagery is the way to go. Ty Martin University of Illinois.
I have to say that in the last five years I have had a large number of students swearing in school hallways but not so much in the classroom. Like was said earlier, most students have no idea that they are doing it. When prompted to repeat what they said, they sometimes are embarassed that they actually said it. Sometimes, they will say something and then realize it was wrong and attempt to change it mid-sentence. I know that in our school district that our PE teachers teach during Health and Quest different ways to manage their anger, but for some students, it will always be a problem. Nick Hartz Bureau Valley South Junior High
As a special education teacher working with at risk youth, I have experienced many instances where anger management was an important tool. I have experienced everything from verbal abuse to physical assault in the classrooms that I have worked in, and have been made to learn CPI strategies where we have taken extreme mearsure (5 point take-downs) in order to restrain the student. Here in Urbana, I have worked at Cunningham Children's Home and the Pavilion as an educator, and in both positions, I have found that understanding anger management strategies has allowed me to be a more effective teacher. I firmly believe that all beginning teachers should be introduced to behavioral management in order to be more effective in the classroom.
I recently took a course on Positive Behavior Facilitation and I really liked it. You will find practical and effective ways to intervene when a student seems to be in crisis (going through a cycle). PBF believes that "youth must become self-aware and understand their patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving in order to be self-regulating and self-monitoring." This course was very effective and even forced me to look at some of my own behaviors to effectively manage student behavior. If you ever have any opportunity to take a training course, I would definitely recommend it. ~S. Ward
Anger management is something that is written into behavior plans and IEPs of some of my students. I often thought that anger management was something that should be easy for students to handle, and then I began teaching. I find myself using these techniques more and more. -Jakob
For some of my students who have severe anger management issues, I make sure to sit them near the door and we discuss ahead of time a word or phrase they are going to tell me to let me know that they need to leave the classroom to get control. I have never had a student abuse this privilege, because in their mind they always know they have an acceptable escape to a troubled situation. M Hafenrichter
[edit] References and other links of interest
Children and aggression-Bandura's Bobo doll experiment
Beekman,Susan, & Holmes,Jeanne (1993). Battles, Hassles, Tantrums & Tears - Strategies For Coping With Conflict And Making Peace At Home. New York: Harvest Books.
Get You Angries Out -- For Teachers [2] For topics such as "Turning it around: What to say to a child who hurts others" and " Correcting a child in a positive way: Cues to break into inappropriate behavior"
Seith, Robert. Anger Management in Schools. Retrieved November 29, 2005 from http://www.connectingwithkids.com/tipsheet/2003/117_mar26/school.html.
